Day 15: 31 Days of Blogging Honesty

 

 

 

 

Day# 15 Question: If I had to spend an entire day as the opposite sex, I would look like _______ and I would spend the day doing…

I thought we had a good thing going. I can't believe you're NOT choosing me!

This question took a great deal of contemplation. Should I spend the day as the beautiful, talented Hugh Jackman, or as the equally gorgeous and super-hot Alexander Skarsgard? Though both would be dreamy to “wear” for the day, I think the man that I would most like to spend 24 hours as, would be my own very wonderful and very loving husband. Something magical happens when you love, and are truly and absolutely loved by, another human being. My husband’s love and kindness has made me a better, softer, more genuine person and my wish, while spending the day as him, would be to make his life a little bit easier. So, here’s my “To Do” list for my day as my husband.

1. Take care of a few uncomfortable situations at work: My husband is usually very happy with his job as one of the division heads of an engineering firm, but one thing he would rather avoid at work is counseling his employees when they exhibit not-so-stellar personal behavior. Though he performs effectively, he’s totally uncomfortable dealing with issues of a personal nature. Having spent the past 16 years as an educator, I’ve taken care of my share of unusual issues, so dealing with the next two problems would be a piece of cake for me!

a. Tammy and Jack: Tammy and Jack are two of my husband’s married employees. The problem is they’re NOT married to one another, BUT they spend their work days carrying on like they are. Last Wednesday they took their affair to the “next level” The problem is, that level was level #3 of the public parking area where their unsavory union in a company truck was witnessed by a mom and her twin toddlers. She hastily reported them to upper administration. Guess who upper admin has asked to counsel with a letter of reprimand this very morning? Yep, my poor awkward husband. Don’t worry honey—I’m on it!

b. John’s nut sack: (John is my husband’s employee) John is a fabulous engineer, but clearly not a fashionista. It has come to the attention of many, that John enjoys a commando lifestyle sans underwear. This would be all well and good if John’s pants fit him properly, but because his slacks tend to be on the snug side, people are complaining about the old trouser snake and his two very large companions. I have no problem with delivering the news that he needs to wear larger pants in order to not offend. Heck, I’ll even offer him the Kohl’s coupon that I got in the mail yesterday so that he’s guaranteed 15% off some new khakis.

2. See an allergist: The Allegra isn’t cutting it. My husband has sniffed, snorted and sneezed since the onset of spring. After I go, as him, to my allergist, Dr. Matthews, he’ll be breathing better in no time.

3. Check out the ol’ poop shoot: My darling husband is 54. This means that he is past due for a colonoscopy by four years. No matter how much I prod him to just make an appointment and get it done, he doesn’t listen. So during my day as him, I’ll endure a scope up my ass out of pure love for my hubby.

4. Do hard math just for the fun of it: Okay, I’ll admit, this one isn’t for him, it’s for me. All my life I’ve struggled with all types of math beyond Algebra I. I’m going to get out my daughter’s calculus book and solve at least a chapters worth of problems, just to see how it feels to actually understand what I’m doing!

Well that’s my day as the fantastic Mr. Sprinkles! Readers, who would you choose?

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14 thoughts on “Day 15: 31 Days of Blogging Honesty

  1. Whoa! I fully expected Hugh Jackman there. This answers was much more satisfying. (I would say “amusing,” but I’ve no doubt you’d make that answer amusing, too.)

    I’m going to have to give your concluding question a thought. Off the top of my head, I can’t think of a single other person male or female that I’d like to be! (It might be the setting. *cough*)

  2. Like Deborah I fully expected Hugh to be your choice. The three of us are on totally different days so I didn’t know what to expect when I got here. The moment I read the question and saw the photo, I was sure it was Hugh!

    Even better I like your choice and most definitely for the reasons you gave. Being a home nudist and going commando when I am forced to dress, I can understand his plight although none of my pants are too tight. One unfortunately has a zipper that has a mind of its own (don’t worry, all my shirts are long enough to handle any wardrobe malfunction).

    I’ve been using Butterbur extract for the last couple of months and it is much better than anything you can find in the pharmacy. Have your husband take a look at that.

    I can understand not being able to confront certain situations too and make him get the colonoscopy or simply withhold something from him until he does. That’s too important! Another great answer!

    • OMG! My husband isn’t the one who wears pants that are too tight–it’s a coworker that he had to counsel the other week!! He was embarrassed to death to have to talk with this guy, and I was saying that I would do it for him, as him! I could never imagine my husband in a pair of nut-huggers! Picture a dude in the khaki pants section of an LL Bean catalogue and you’ll know exactly what my husband looks like. (I’m going to edit now!)

      Yes, Hugh was disappointed that I didn’t choose him, but he was my second choice!

      You didn’t specify what the Butterbur was for. Is it to aid in your home nudity, or with your allergies? 🙂 Although it sounds like something from Harry Potter, I’ll check it out! 🙂

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