Day # 10 question: What I
dislike envy most about the opposite sex is…
Honestly, I don’t dislike much about the opposite sex, but there is something that men can do that I’m highly envious of. I could bitch about the fact that in the corporate world the majority of men are not confined by a glass ceiling, or I could bemoan the issue that they don’t have to endure a monthly period, but I’m not going to. The thing that I envy the most about the opposite sex is that they have a penis. Now please, please, please don’t think that this means that I’ve confirmed Freud’s theories and I’m a card carrying member of the penis envy club, because I’m truly not. I tend to not be a big fan of unpredictability, and the penis seems to be one impulsive little critter. I have no desire to go through my day with something that has the possibility of taking on a life of its own hanging around in my underwear. However, there are those occasions that I would like to be the proud owner of a male unit and those occasions always involve a long stretch of road without a rest area in sight.
With a penis, the world is your toilet. There would be no more limiting my fluids on a road trip. No longer would I deny myself a beer near the end of a concert because of long bathroom lines, nor would I leave an amusement park thirsty due to an impending parking lot back up. There would always be a bottle, cup, or discreet wooded area on my horizon. Dudes, I don’t dislike you for your ability to make wee against your front tire on a dark roadside when the next rest stop is 64 miles away. I’m envious, because I know that when I try the same maneuver in a squatting position, that nine times out of ten I’m getting back in the car with a wet spot on the back of my pants!