Day 6: 31 Days of Blogging Honesty

 

 

 

 

Day # 6 Question: Something I want to do in my lifetime but I already know I won’t be able to is…

Be positive, you must!

Well this question is a little bitch, isn’t it? Thanks blogger gods! Way to try to make a normally positive human being think negatively! Well, I’m not going to play your nasty game of pessimism. I have goals; tangible, reachable, fabulous goals and I refuse to shoot any of them down in this insignificant blog! However, apart from my goals of one day publishing the great American novel, of living in a house that is actually larger than 1,100 square feet, and of being Freshly Pressed, I have a few desires that are most likely moot.

1. I will probably never be a guest on the Oprah show, but this is only because her last season is nearly over and the guest roster is already filled.

2. Chances are I’ll never make mad, passionate love to Hugh Jackman, but not because he won’t want to when at last we meet, but because we both value the institution of marriage.

3. The odds are pretty grim that I’ll be chosen as a Real Housewife of Orange County, New York  , Atlanta, or New Jersey, only because I’m not planning on moving to any of those locals anytime soon. (Plus, I don’t think that even on my worst PMS day that I could be as mean as those old slags are!)

4. My silly dream of spending a day as my cat in a sort of Freaky Friday scenario seems pretty hopeless. This doesn’t mean that I won’t try to squeeze a day in here and there where I do nothing but eat, sleep and poop.

5. My bad ankles and asthma are sure to prevent me from unicycling across the United States, but the truth is I don’t really want to unicycle across the United States, I only want to be able to brag to people that I did.

Friend: Hey Sprinkles, did you catch last season of America’s Got Talent?

Me: Oh, that drivel? No, I was WAY too busy unicycling across the United States!

See how cool that sounds?

I’ll also never be able to pee in a coke bottle (unless they make the opening larger), be a crew member aboard a Space Shuttle mission, take down Osama Bin Laden, or claim that I invented the Snuggie. Do all of these could-have-beens get me down? Nope. I like my life just the way it is.

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6 thoughts on “Day 6: 31 Days of Blogging Honesty

  1. Everybody’s responses seem so much better than mine do. This was really clever and kept me smiling. Maybe I should revisit my answer but no, changing first responses just ruins things.

    Take a robe, sew it shut and give it a catchy name and become a millionaire over night – genius! You should have invented it. I should have too for that matter. Have a great weekend.

    • Yep, always stay with your first response! Your answers are fine. My blogs might be a bit shorter next week. I have a lot going on with my daughter’s graduation from college next Saturday, but I’ll still post something. 🙂

  2. I know for sure that I’ll never be a child prodigy. It’s really too bad. That would have been cool.

    I also am pretty sure I’ll never live in Manhattan, though it’s something I will always wish I had done. I’ve worked there and get my fix on a regular basis, but I’ve never lived there and it’s very unlikely I will. Not only for practical/financial reasons, but I’m getting fairly cranky in my dotage and don’t tolerate having so many people around me all the time. At this rate, I’ll be a hermit in North Dakota in no time 😉

    • Being a child prodigy isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. I don’t know this personally, just vicariously through my brother. He began playing the piano by ear at 4 and by 7 was studying piano at a conservatory 45 mins. from our home because he had surpassed all of his local piano teachers. Everyone in our area knew about my brother’s talent. He was constantly asked to play at different venues and was sort of a mini celebrity in our area. He felt a lot of pressure from our family to continue with piano even when he had other interests. By the time he was college-aged he was pretty much burned out with music. Other than a few stints in bands that played around the DC area, he’s done nothing more with his talent. His piano is actually in storage.
      As far as living in Manhattan goes, I think it would be super cool, too. However, I will never live there either for pretty much the exact same reasons that you’ve stated. At least you seem to be close enough to enjoy it when the mood strikes you!

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